Anyway, as of last week, my sides just below my rib cage felt like my skin was splitting open.

Why, you might ask? Because of eczema that I've had for over four months now. Okay, actually, you're probably asking why the hell I didn't go to a doctor sooner if I've had it for four months. Well that's because I've had it on and off for four months, not four months straight. When this annoying scabby rash showed up just below my breasts, on the side of my breasts, and then transitioned down my sides I was using medicine I had previously been given in 2012 to heal it—2012 being the first year that eczema ever appeared on my body as a "mild case" my pediatrician told me before I turned 18 and could no longer see her. She gave me enough medicine to last a few years. But by a few years, I didn't realize that meant 2015 was the expiration date.

So when I got it in November, I put medicine on straight away and it went away. Then it came back in December when the weather got really dry here in Flagstaff. I started applying it again...but by the time January rolled around, I would use the medicine and it would disappear. Then the eczema would flare up again a few days later.

I didn't realize the medical cream had expired. Until today, when I finally steeled myself to go to the doctors at the urging of my boyfriend after last week, when my skin started to burn and feel like it was splitting open and the scabbing started to peel off. I was losing sleep and I was in pain and I was begging Jeremy for tummy rubs during the night (I love him, he gave them to me without complaining even though he was losing sleep, too). I also felt bad for my cat Magnus, who is my emotional support animal. Poor little guy didn't know what to do when I'd wake up crying at night because my sides were on fire—luckily that only happened twice.

In all honesty, I actually steeled myself to go to the doctors on Wednesday of this past week, but then I found out the university clinic doesn't accept my insurance any longer. Well—they accept my insurance, they don't accept the specific plan I have. I needed to have a "home doctor" in order to use the plan through them with whom they could converse with as I was being treated by them. Ugh. Bull shit. So I had to wait two more days until I could finally visit an urgent care clinic nearby and now I am stocked up on medicine that isn't expired and hoping that this eczema flare up flares down soon.

The medicine made my sides feel like they were actually the fiery pits of hell, by the way, rather than just being on fire.

Oh and speaking of pain—I can't go to physical therapy through NAU now because of the whole insurance screw up. Not that it matters because I struck out again with my new rheumatologist who I actually like and who has honestly felt like he's been trying to help me. Not that it matters anymore. He's retiring. Just like my original one.

Here I thought I was finally getting the pain in my left knee to go away, or that there was hope of it. But nope. I shouldn't ever be hopeful.

At least the eczema will go away...soon.